today I accidentally dropped my pencil and when I reached down to get it I had this really awkward hand touch with a guy that was going to pick it up for me and he goes “oh i see how it is” with a flirty face and I panicked so I just shouted “I’m a lesbian” and then he got really quiet.. I’m sorry, I’m not a lesbian, I just don’t know how to communicate with your kind. I’m sorry. Jesus the lord.

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